You Cannot Change Another. You Can Only Change Yourself

 

No one can persuade another to change.
Each of us guards a gate of change
that can only be opened from the inside.
We cannot open the gate of another,
either by argument or emotional appeal.
- Marilyn Ferguson

You cannot teach a man anything;
you can only help him find it within himself.
- Galileo Galilei

The truth only irritates those it enlightens,
but does not convert.
- Pasquier Quesnel

I cannot teach anybody anything.
I can only make them think.
- Socrates

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Live and Let Live

The Problem with Advice

My thoughts on meddling in the affairs of others

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Offering Helpful Advice
    

Without Change, There Can Be No Growth

 

Change of any sort requires courage.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
- Gail Sheehy

Change always comes bearing gifts.
- Price Pritchett

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson

To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

The nature of life is constant change, yet we fight against it. Why do we fight change? Humans are creatures of habit and instinctively fear the unknown.

Affirmation: Change is the Great Adventure of Life. I welcome change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading:  Accept Change

Success Tip: Drive Change

Take Action - Now

Better Alternatives to Complaining

How to Change the World
      

Be a Maker of Change

 

We must become the change we wish to see in the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson

Drive Change, don't wait for change to drive you.
The nature of life is constant change.
The world is not the same today as it was yesterday,
and it will be different still tomorrow.
We can be victims of that change, or we can proactively drive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Change is the essential process of all existence.
- The character Spock on the TV series Star Trek

Further reading: Take Action - Now

Think Big, Act Big

Only Today
    

A World in Upheaval...

 

A world in upheaval is the breaking of the old sod -
the revealing of rich fresh soil ready for new planting.
Rejoice in the opportunity to sow a new crop.
Progress Does Not Come Gently.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past
have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.
- George S. Patton

Unexpected events can set you back or set you up.
It's all a matter of - perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

This time, like all times, is a very good one,
if we but know what to do with it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Progress Does Not Come Gently.
 - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no certainty; there is only adventure.
- Roberto Assagioli

We will only understand the miracle of life fully when
we allow the unexpected to happen.
- Paulo Coelho

Further reading: Knowledge is Soon Changed 

Appreciate the Unexpected

Assumptions

Expectations/Demands

Welcome Newness
     

Clean the Lens Through Which You View the Past

 

You change the past when you change the way you see it.
- Alan Cohen

History is a vast early warning system.
- Norman Cousins

Study the past, if you would divine the future.
- Confucius

He who spends time regretting the past,
loses the present and risks the future.
- Quevedo

Oh yes, the past can hurt.
But, you can either run from it or, learn from it.
- the movie The Lion King

Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Clean the Lens Through Which You View the Past.
Clear away the prejudices and the biases.
Consider history from the perspective of both the losers and the winners.
Attempt to strip history (both your personal history and world history) down to just the facts.
 - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Learning From History

Release the Past

The Cleansing Power of Forgiveness

Letting Go - Moving On
       

Change is the Law of Life

 

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier
state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.
- George Santayana

There are good and bad times,
but our mood changes
more often than our fortune.
- Thomas Carlyle

In times of change, learners inherit the earth;
while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped
to deal with a world that no longer exists.
- Eric Hoffer

Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy

Further reading: Renewal and Rebirth - The Great Cycle

Another Wave Comes, Another Wave Goes

Endings and New Beginnings
      

Declare Today to be a New Beginning

 

 

What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare

All life is change.
Release your attachment to the way things have been,
and wend your way joyfully
through life's unfolding majesty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman

Stop holding on to the past.
1) Release your regrets about whatever you may have done or failed to do that turned out poorly.
2) Forgive others for whatever they may have done or failed to do that caused you harm.
3) Declare today to be a new beginning.
Let go of the past and move on with creating a joyful new future for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs.
- Dick Raymond

Further reading: Let Go of Your Attachment to Your Plans

Illusions Lost

A Better Plan

Don Miguel Ruiz: The Four Agreements - The Wisdom of the Ages in Four Sound-Bites 
      

Life Offers No Guarantees

 

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

There are no guarantees.
From the viewpoint of fear, none are strong enough.
From the viewpoint of love, none are necessary.
- Emmanuel (Pat Rodegast)

Our only security is our ability to change.
- John Lilly

There is no security on this Earth,
there is only opportunity.
- Douglas MacArthur

Security is not the absence of danger,
but the presence of God,
no matter what the danger.
- Anonymous

Unexpected events can set you back or set you up. It's all a matter of - perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Those of true faith don't require guaranteed security.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is magnificent - just as it comes. Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick. Life is no pig. Our life is the greatest gift of all creation. When we are unhappy with life - when we are shocked by the actions of politicians, or corporations, or our "enemies," or our "friends," or even by natural forces, - let us not lash out in anger. But also, let us not try to pretty up life with some lipstick and some party clothes. See life clearly - no rose colored glasses - and then CHOOSE to love life. CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful, be forgiving of everyone and of every act we believe has hurt us. Life just "IS." We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
Life is all in the perspective we take on it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let today be a day to look at your life from different and broader perspectives - perhaps a perspective of thankfulness for what you have and a perspective of wonder at your very existence and the magnificence of the world we live in.

Further reading: All Life is a Risk

Courage to Take Action

Risk a Little

Thrown Out of the Nest
           

Instead of Complaining, Take Action

 

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
- Carl Jung

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

Never ascribe to malice that which is
adequately explained by incompetence.
- Napoleon

When they are disappointed, most people react by assigning blame,
and finding someone to criticize.
What if we accepted that our disappointments
are seldom the result of malice on the part of anyone,
and worked together to make life better for all.
Don't Complain, Take Action Instead.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,
then I can change.
- Carl Rogers

Further reading: Restraint

Condemn None

Stand Beyond Criticism

Judge Not
      

Always Be Open to Making a Change

 

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Note that the problem isn't with "consistency," but with "foolish consistency."
What makes a habitual action "foolish?" Ask yourself whether it serves you, or whether you serve it.

Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw

Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past,
threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible.
- Maya Angelou

When what you are doing is frustrating you, STOP.
Pause to consider the true importance of the task.
Reflect on whether there is a better plan for reaching your goal.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Beginning Today, Make Fresh Choices

No Need to Conform

Our Habits

Your Whole Toolkit
      

Play Full-Out

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars,
or sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
- Helen Keller

Play full-out and enjoy all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Think Big, Act Big

Become a Seeker

Don't Wait!

My thoughts on "safety" versus living full-out
      

You Can't Have Progress Without Change

 

The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.
- Charles Kettering (1876-1958 - holder of 186 US Patents, including the automotive electric starter)

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain

New ideas pass through three periods:
1) It can't be done.
2) It probably can be done, but it's not worth doing.
3) I knew it was a good idea all along!
- Arthur C. Clarke

If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
-Woodrow Wilson

Ideas, yes.
Inspiration, yes.
Creativity, yes.
Planning, yes.
Perseverance, yes.
More perseverance, yes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Progress

A Better Plan

Flexibility

Cheer for Endings
        

Balance Tradition and Progress

 

Those who can see value only in tradition,...
deny man's ability to adapt to changing circumstances.
- Stephen Bayley

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer

I prefer to choose which traditions to keep and which to let go.
- Theodore Bikel

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter

Honor tradition, but
Do not be constrained by tradition.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We Need Both the Vision and the Practicality,
Both the Lightness and the Solidarity,
Both the Wings and the Roots.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Embrace Change

Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Break with Conformity

Life is an Adventure
    

Stay Flexible and Enjoy the Journey

Life is not always as it seems.
What you have wished for is not always best.
What you have feared may become a blessing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu

Change always comes bearing gifts.
- Price Pritchett

Zig as Life Zigs and Zag as Life Zags.
Stay Adaptable, Stay Joyful
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Change of any sort requires courage.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Today's affirmation:
I choose to adapt to the circumstances in which I find myself.
I choose to be flexible in my dealings with those around me.
I understand that my way is not the only way -
that inner peace comes from respecting the ways of others,
and that, if I am open, I may gain great insights and happiness
from the ideas and traditions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Go With the Flow

Be Flexible

There is a Way

Enjoy the Journey
      

Try Again - In a Different Way

Sometimes success requires persistence and hard work. Sometimes an ingenious new approach is needed. Or it may be time for a whole new beginning. Think, and choose wisely whether to try harder or to try something new.

The very nature of the world is constant change. You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it; then the assumptions on which you based your plan change - they always do. The challenge is to retain your goals while adapting your tactics. Relax and stay flexible in order to reach your goals and maintain your happiness.

The phrase "tilting at windmills" (from the fictional character Don Quixote - shown in today's picture) epitomizes the hopelessness of a determined but inflexible approach. Far better to change your tactics than to fail - however nobly.

Persistence only takes you so far.
Then you need to try a different approach.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stay committed to your decisions,
but stay flexible in your approach.
- Tony Robbins

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.
- Stephen Hawking

Further reading: Stay Adaptable

Learn to Surmount Obstacles

Begin Anew Today

Multiple Ways to Your Goal
      

Life plays out in shades of gray rather than in blacks and whites

Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past
have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.
- George S. Patton

Life only appears complicated when one is worrying.
Relax, and life becomes simple again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The contradictions are what make human behavior
so maddening and yet so fascinating,
all at the same time.
- Joan D. Vinge

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,
then I can change.
- Carl Rogers

Actions are always more complex and nuanced than they seem.
We have to be willing to wrestle with paradox in pursuing understanding.
- Harold Evans

I think wholeness is God's design for us;
and that often amounts to embracing contradictions.
- Bono

Life plays out in shades of gray rather than in blacks and whites.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Overflowing Cup of Tea - Zen Koan

Maybe So, Maybe Not. - Ancient Taoist Proverb

Yin-Yang

Balance in All Things
      

Everything in Its Own Time

 

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

We have an obligation to live in harmony with God's creation.
- Bruce Babbitt

One has to find a balance between
what people need from you
and what you need for yourself.
- Jessye Norman

A time for everything: a time to relax and a time to be busy,
a time to frolic and a time to lay up food for the winter,
a time to receive and a time to give,
a time to begin and a time to finish.
A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Change must always be balanced with some degree of consistency.
- Ron D. Burton

The ending of a job or a relationship
may appear as the darkest night,
but it is merely the Winter season -
the time of renewal and rebirth
that precedes the new planting -
the beginning of the next great cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Balance vs. Moderation: Eight Ways to Balance Your Life

Live in Harmony

Creating Balance

Renew Yourself

A List of Gratitudes

Yin-Yang
   

Be resolute in your goals, but flexible in your tactics

 

Let no one think that flexibility
and a predisposition to compromise
is a sign of weakness or a sell-out.
- Paul Kagame

The boldness of asking deep questions may require
unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers.
- Brian Greene

Those who can see value only in tradition,...
deny man's ability to adapt to changing circumstances.
- Stephen Bayley

In science the important thing is to modify and change
one's ideas as science advances.
- Herbert Spencer

Be resolute in your goals, but flexible in your tactics.
There are times that call for repetition and perseverance;
and there are times that require new ways of thinking and doing.
The challenge is knowing one from the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: I choose to adapt to the circumstances in which I find myself

New Ideas

Practice makes perfect - sometimes

Be Flexible
       

Break from the Pack

 

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

The opposite of courage in our society
is not cowardice, it is conformity.
- Rollo May

Life is a sum of all your choices.
- Albert Camus

Today's affirmation
I CHOOSE with Open Mind and Open Heart.
I renounce all assumptions and expectations.
I thoughtfully consider all possibilities.
I CHOOSE with courage, awareness, consciousness, and compassion toward all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: The Trouble with Conformity

Make Decisions

Embrace Change

Do What You Know Is Right

Try Being Outrageous
       

Change HOW You See

Change what you see,
by changing how you see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The question is not what you look at, but what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau

A flower is a weed seen through joyful eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Call a plant beautiful, and it becomes a flower.
Call it ugly, and it becomes a weed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin

It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.
- Helen Keller

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
- John Lubbock

We never see what we are not ready to see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further Reading: What I Know - What I Don't Know