You Cannot Change Another. You Can Only Change Yourself

 

No one can persuade another to change.
Each of us guards a gate of change
that can only be opened from the inside.
We cannot open the gate of another,
either by argument or emotional appeal.
- Marilyn Ferguson

You cannot teach a man anything;
you can only help him find it within himself.
- Galileo Galilei

The truth only irritates those it enlightens,
but does not convert.
- Pasquier Quesnel

I cannot teach anybody anything.
I can only make them think.
- Socrates

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Live and Let Live

The Problem with Advice

My thoughts on meddling in the affairs of others

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Offering Helpful Advice
    

Continue to Seek the Truth

 

Keep the company of those who seek the truth;
run from those who have found it.
- Václav Havel

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion,
but not their own facts.
- Daniel Patrick Moynihan

When we blindly adopt a religion,
a political system, a literary dogma,
we become automatons. We cease to grow.
- Anais Nin

If you would be a real seeker after truth,
it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt,
as far as possible, all things.
- Rene Descartes

Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide

Facts Don't Change With One's Opinions Or Beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The presence of those seeking the truth
is infinitely to be preferred
to the presence of those who think they've found it.
- Terry Pratchett

Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Be a Seeker

The Illusion of Knowledge

Truth Does Not Convert
   

Inquire Into Your Beliefs

 

Inquiry is fatal to certainty.
- Will Durant

Examine, inquire.
Look into the nature of things.
Search out the grounds of your opinions,
the for and against.
Know why you believe, understand what you believe,
and possess a reason for the faith that is in you.
- Frances Wright

Doubt is the incentive to truth, and inquiry leads the way.
- Hosea Ballou

If you would be a real seeker after truth,
it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt,
as far as possible, all things.
- Rene Descartes

What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea.
It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience,
something that never has been and never could
have been experienced by anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry.
- Thomas Paine Look Deeply, Doubt What You Have Long Believed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Assumptions

Practice Conscious Awareness

Analysis AND Emotion

Quotations as a Spur for Inquiry
   

Beware of the Illusion of Knowledge

Beware of false knowledge;
it is more dangerous than ignorance.
- George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -
it is the illusion of knowledge.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

When you have a very strong FEELING that something is true, often it isn't.
WANTING something to be true doesn't make it true.
Likewise, being AFRAID that something is true doesn't make it true either.

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We want the facts to fit the preconceptions.
When they don't, it is easier to ignore the facts
than to change the preconceptions.
- Jessamyn West

Further reading: Perspective on Tradition: An Open Mind

The Danger of Assumptions

Truth isn't True. Reality isn't Real.
    

 

Learning Leads To Growth

 

Education is not the filling of a pail,
but the lighting of a fire.
- William Butler Yeats

Intellectual growth should commence at birth
and cease only at death.
- Albert Einstein

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

The mind is not a vessel to be filled,
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

Develop a passion for learning.
If you do, you will never cease to grow.
- Anthony J. D'Angelo

Further reading: Lifelong Learning

Knowledge is Soon Changed

Open Minds

Reason
    

Always Do the Right Thing

The greatest way to live with honor in this world
is to be what we pretend to be.
- Socrates

Reputation is what other people know about you.
Honor is what you know about yourself.
- Lois McMaster Bujold

The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Gen. Norman Schwarzkoff

You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
- Aristotle

When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

All the great things are simple,
and many can be expressed in a single word:
freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
- Winston Churchill

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never let your sense of morals
get in the way of doing what's right.
- Isaac Asimov

Read: What is Moral versus What is Right

Do what you feel in your heart to be right.
You'll be criticized anyway.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Whatever your friends and family do,
Always do what you know is right.
...
If it's Right, stand up for it - together.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Live with Honor

Be yourself. Honor yourself.

Is there a place for Honor today?
         

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple

 

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Can you let go of words and ideas,
attitudes and expectations?
If so, then the Tao will loom into view.
- Lao Tzu

Further reading: Life is a Riddle

Accept that Life is Complex and Contradictory
    

Begin with the FACTS

 

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
- Aldous Huxley

Everyone has a right to his own opinion, but no one has a right to be wrong in his facts.
- Bernard M. Baruch

Approach each new problem not with a view of finding what you hope will be there,
but to get the truth, the realities that must be grappled with.
You may not like what you find. In that case you are entitled to try to change it.
But do not deceive yourself as to what you do find to be the facts of the situation.
- Bernard M. Baruch

We want the facts to fit the preconceptions.
When they don't, it is easier to ignore the facts
than to change the preconceptions.
- Jessamyn West

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

Further reading: Begin with the FACTS

The Fun-House Mirrors Of Our Own Point Of View

Re-examine all that you have been told

Never Stop Learning
        

Something to Ponder...

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr

Niels Bohr, the great Danish physicist who received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1922 for his fundamental contributions to the understanding of atomic structure and quantum mechanics, is making a point that is very Zen - or very Taoist if one prefers.

An example of a "great truth" for which the opposite is also true is the statement, "You are not your body; you are not your mind." While it is very true, if one so believes, that the "real you" is neither physical nor mental, it is simultaneously true that your body and your mind are very real, and ignoring their reality is likely to cause great suffering.

Another example of a "great truth" is the Golden Rule. It is true that we should treat others as we wish to be treated in the sense of being kind and compassionate to everyone. Yet the opposite of the Golden Rule is also true in the sense that it is kind and compassionate to recognize that everyone is called to a different life path and to honor those differences.

[As always, the purpose of these daily messages to provide something to think about, rather than to attempt to dictate conclusions.]

No statement should be believed [solely] because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past,
threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible.
- Maya Angelou

The more opinions you have, the less you see.
- Wim Wenders

The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

Further reading: What is "The Truth?"

To Keep the Golden Rule

What You're Sure You Know, But Don't

The Golden Rule is Not Always Golden
    

Beware the Illusion of Knowledge

 

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -
it is the illusion of knowledge.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

Beware of false knowledge;
it is more dangerous than ignorance.
- George Bernard Shaw

We want the facts to fit the preconceptions.
When they don't, it is easier to ignore the facts
than to change the preconceptions.
- Jessamyn West

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you have a very strong FEELING that something is true, often it isn't.
WANTING something to be true doesn't make it true.
Likewise, being AFRAID that something is true doesn't make it true either.

Further reading: Truth isn't True. Reality isn't Real.

The Danger of Assumptions

Perspective on Tradition: An Open Mind
    

Opinions are Not Truth

 

The antiquity and general acceptance of an opinion
is not assurance of its truth.
- Pierre Bayle

There is no truth.
There is only perception.
- Gustave Flaubert

If you wish to see the truth,
then hold no opinion for or against.
- Osho

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard

Further reading: What is "The Truth?"

Not As It Appears

The Work - Four Questions

Art of Seeing
     

The problem with making assumptions...

 

Everything is not as it appears to be.
- Proverb

About most subjects, there is not "The Truth;"
there is merely one's personal truth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.
- Ludwig Boerne

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

A point of view can be a dangerous luxury when substituted
for insight and understanding.
- Marshall McLuhan

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

What if it were only an illusion?
Perhaps life is not as threatening as it appears.
Perhaps the greatest threat to our serenity
is our fear of the future -
our fear of the unknown.
Perhaps, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said,
"The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today's image shows a Müller-Lyer perceived length optical illusion.

Further reading: Question Your Questions

Belief - Point-of-View

When Life Looks Hopeless

Maybe So, Maybe Not. - Ancient Taoist Proverb
    

Be Impeccable With Your Word

 

What we speak becomes the house we live in.
- Hafiz

Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using your word to speak against yourself
or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Every thought you think
and every word you speak
is affirming something.
- Louise L. Hay

Better than a thousand hollow words,
is one word that brings peace.
- The Buddha

Today's affirmation:
I open myself for the word of Spirit to flow through me.

Further reading: Our Character

What is Morality?

Power Tests Integrity
    

Examine, Inquire, Don't Make Assumptions

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

- Mark Twain (attributed)

If you would be a real seeker after truth,

it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt,
as far as possible, all things.

- Rene Descartes

The more opinions you have, the less you see.
- Wim Wenders

About most subjects, there is not "The Truth."
There is merely one's personal truth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

Examine, inquire.
Look into the nature of things.
Search out the grounds of your opinions,
the for and against.
Know why you believe, understand what you believe,
and possess a reason for the faith that is in you.

- Frances Wright

Everything is not as it appears to be.
- Proverb

People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- 1997 Comedy Movie "Men In Black"

Further reading: Question Your Questions

The Illusion of Knowledge

Maybe So, Maybe Not.

Expectations

Truth isn't True

Assumptions
     

Stop the Pretense

 

Society is a masked ball,
where everyone hides his real character,
and reveals it by hiding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us,
but our emptiness.
The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.
- Eric Hoffer

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut

Whoever you pretend to be, you must face yourself eventually.
- Al Stewart

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

We all have a social mask, right?
We put it on, we go out, put our best foot forward, our best image.
But behind that social mask is a personal truth,
what we really, really believe about who we are and what we're capable of.
- Phil McGraw

What if we like our outrageous side best?
We "know" that the "right" thing to do is to suck it up,
put the costume and the happy face back in storage for another year,
re-dress in our frown and gray flannel suit,
and trudge back to job, chores, "responsibilities," and "duty."
Stop! Maybe TODAY is the day to put the frown and gray flannel
into that dusty storage locker, and start to LIVE.
Not just today, but EVERY DAY for the rest of your life!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare

Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard

Recognize the extent to which you hide your true nature from the world.
Consider revealing more of your true self.
...
Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: How To Not Care What Others Think

Need For Approval

How to Be Yourself

What lessons might Halloween hold for us?     

It is Rare but Admirable for People to be Logical

 

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

Feelings are much stronger than thoughts.
We are all led by instinct,
and our intellect catches up later.
- Bono

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

At the most basic level, the human emotions that drive all our actions
are the emotion of Love, and the emotion of Fear.
Love expresses itself through compassion, kindness, generosity, and understanding.
Fear expresses itself through self-centeredness, greed, jealousy, and exclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Have compassion for those whose actions are driven by fear,
even when those actions cause serious harm to others.

Further reading: There are Only Fear and Love

Master of My Emotions

Learning To Live Together

Choose the World You Live In
     

Curiosity is Key to Science

 

Science is a way of thinking
much more than it is a body of knowledge.
- Carl Sagan

The ultimate court of appeal is observation and experiment...
not authority.
- Thomas Huxley

What is a scientist after all?
It is a curious man looking through a keyhole,
the keyhole of nature, trying to know what's going on.
- Jacques Yves Cousteau

The scientist is motivated primarily by curiosity
and a desire for truth.
- Irving Langmuir

All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei

The saddest aspect of life right now
is that science gathers knowledge faster
than society gathers wisdom.
- Isaac Asimov

Further reading: Understand More, Fear Less

Seek the Truth

Analysis AND Emotion

Stroke of Insight - Jill Bolte Taylor
    

End the War With Yourself

 

We carry our worst enemies within us.
- Charles Spurgeon

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe,
that lures him to evil ways.
- The Buddha

Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles,
but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Life is way too short to spend another day at war with yourself.
- Anonymous

Today's affirmation:
I lay aside the battles within my own mind,
and grant myself peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Your Own Worst Enemy

Still Your Mind

Create Peace Within Yourself

Manage Your Wayward Mind
     

Set an Honorable Example

 

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You can easily judge the character of others
by how they treat those who can
do nothing for them or to them.
- Malcolm S. Forbes

Live so that when your children think of fairness,
caring and integrity, they think of you.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

That's all a man can hope for during his lifetime -
to set an example -
and when he is dead,
to be an inspiration for history.
- William McKinley

Today's affirmation:
I choose to live a life of gratitude and joy,
inspiring others to follow my example.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: How To Know What To Do

Who You Are

The Value Of Honor

Intentional Living
      

Choose to See the Beauty in Life

Even those things which seem out of reach of our choice
are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing true anywhere,
The true is nowhere to be seen;
If you say you see the true,
This seeing is not the true one.
- Abraham Lincoln paraphrasing Lao Tzu's Tao te Ching

Seeing the light is a choice, not seeing the light is no choice.
- Douglas Horton

Change what you see,
by changing how you see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Labels

Opinions

Finding Beauty