You Cannot Change Another. You Can Only Change Yourself

 

No one can persuade another to change.
Each of us guards a gate of change
that can only be opened from the inside.
We cannot open the gate of another,
either by argument or emotional appeal.
- Marilyn Ferguson

You cannot teach a man anything;
you can only help him find it within himself.
- Galileo Galilei

The truth only irritates those it enlightens,
but does not convert.
- Pasquier Quesnel

I cannot teach anybody anything.
I can only make them think.
- Socrates

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Live and Let Live

The Problem with Advice

My thoughts on meddling in the affairs of others

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Offering Helpful Advice
    

Celebrate TODAY

 

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

Today's affirmation:
I walk today's march with courage.
I create today as my celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Celebrating Rainbows and Butterflies - the Small Miracles of Our Life

Life Lessons I Learned From My Cat

Simple is Marvelous

What If Every Day Were Your Day

Being Fully Present in TODAY

Today is for Living
    

Begin With Optimism

 

If we say, "This is never going to work..."
then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf

Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.
- William James

Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the world at a standstill.
- Helen Keller

Optimism is a prerequisite to progress. It provides the inspiration we need, especially in hard times. And it provides the encouragement that wills us to chase our grandest ambitions out into the world, instead of locking them away in the safe quiet of our minds.
- Shimon Peres

Whatever happens, always look to tomorrow -
with courage and optimism.
Optimism Precedes Progress.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Optimism

Be the Melody

Mental Attitude
      

Don't be a Doormat

 

Don't live your life to please other people.
- Oprah Winfrey
[Be of service, but don't be a doormat.]

This is your life.
In the symphony of your life, you are the star.
You write the melody and the lyrics.
You are the soloist and the conductor.
You are merely a bit player in other people's lives,
but in your own life, you are the star.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You get what you settle for.
- the character Louise in the movie Thelma and Louise

It does not do to dwell on dreams, ...
and forget to live.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Be the Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
Write the melody and the lyrics.
Be the soloist and the conductor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: How to Choose Your Life Purpose

What guides you and maintains your direction?

Where Are You Going?

The Melody Within Your Soul
    

Try New Means

 

If your only tool is a hammer,
you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow
Read my thoughts about this... 

If your only tool is a bomb,
you tend to see every problem as a target.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Little men with little minds and little imaginations
go through life in little ruts,
smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds.
- Zig Ziglar

If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.
- Alan Lewis
[Sometimes a bigger hammer works, but it isn't a very creative approach.]

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

Further reading: 9 Secrets For Getting Un-Stuck

Focus and Flexibility

Be Present in the Moment

Our Habits

Adaptability
     

Only Love Can Drive Out Hate

 

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

That which you hate to be done to you,
do not do to another.
- Ancient Egyptian Proverb
[There is a form of the "Golden Rule" in virtually every religious and cultural tradition.
This is perhaps the earliest.]

You never hate that which you do not first fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

An "enemy" is a mirage -
an image of self reflected on the sands of Hell.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite [religious leader], when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ... took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

Hate returns upon itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Be a Pillar of Goodness

Allow Love to Conquer Hate

Hatred vs. Love

Revenge, the Deadliest Sin?

Don't Get Burned by Your Own Anger
      

Habits <=> Life

 

Question: Can't I just fix myself so I will stay motivated and inspired all the time?
My answer: It will probably always be a daily task to keep yourself on track.

People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

The strength of a man's virtue should not be measured
by his special exertions,
but by his habitual acts.
- Blaise Pascal

Our daily decisions create the scrapbook of our life.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either.
What you make a habit of putting-off
just keeps getting pushed away again and again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You will never change your life
until you change something you do daily.
- Mike Murdock

Our character is basically a composite of our habits.
Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns,
they constantly, daily, express our character.
- Stephen Covey

Successful people are simply those with successful habits.
- Brian Tracy

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

Today, examine your beliefs, your actions, your wants,
to determine whether they still represent your highest purpose.

Choose your Habits, Choose your Life.
Your Habits Are Your Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: 5 Secrets For Breaking Your Bad Habits 

Choose Your Focus

Be the Melody in Your Own Life

You are the Captain

Habits - Like Water to a Fish

How to Change Bad Habits

Seek to Understand
      

The habit of persistence

 

The habit of persistence is the habit of victory.
- Herbert Kaufman 

Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman,
before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
- John Quincy Adams

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is
that one comes from a strong will,
and the other from a strong won't.
- Henry Ward Beecher

All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau

Patience, persistence, and perseverance.
A little more each day,
a little better each day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Emulate the Patience of Nature

Stand Up To Your Obstacles

Realize Success

The Power of Mental Attitude
    

Wisdom to know the difference

 

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
- the character Morpheus in the movie The Matrix

There is a great difference between knowing and understanding:
you can know a lot about something and not really understand it.
- Charles Kettering

Know the power of perspective.
Be a passionate observer of life.
See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading:  More About the Serenity Prayer

Great Truths

Consciously Choosing Your Truth

Different and Yet the Same
      

Think, Take Action

 

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

The ancestor of every action is a thought.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man is but the product of his thoughts -
what he thinks, he becomes.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
- The Buddha

Further reading: Your Inner Thoughts

Life Is A Mirror

Choose Not To Stress
            

Flow...

 

Breathe deeply and slowly.
Let yourself become centered - shut out all distractions.
Breathe out your worries; empty your body of regrets and resentments.
Breathe in eternal peace; let your body fill with unconditional love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Breathe; let go; relax; forgive.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer

Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free.
Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing.
- Zhuangzi

Further reading: Conscious Breathing to Relieve Stress

Forgiveness: Path to Inner Peace

Breath by Breath

Gratitude for THIS Moment
   

Make your life a masterpiece

 

I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece.
I challenge you to join the ranks of those people
who live what they teach, who walk their talk.
- Tony Robbins

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations.
For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live.
- Henry David Thoreau

Today's affirmation: Today, I will do my best...
and then relax in the knowing that I have done all I could.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Don't Miss Out On Life

Live Every Moment, Joyfully

Progress

Enthusiasm and Passion
        

To be alive means to have a sense of humor

 

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole
that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward

Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho

A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign
that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey

Further reading: Be as a Child

Sense of Humor

Cherish the Whimsey

Not Too Serious
    

Let there never be a day ...

The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkopf

If you are neutral in situations of injustice,
you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse
and you say that you are neutral,
the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.
- Desmond Tutu

Safeguarding the rights of others is the most noble
and beautiful end of a human being.
- Khalil Gibran

Do your little bit of good where you are;
its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.
- Desmond Tutu

When the rights of any group, no matter how small, no matter how marginal,
are violated, your liberty, your freedom is put at risk.
Let there never be a day when we cast about in horror
and have to ask the question, "How did it ever come to this?"
- Thomas Childers

Further reading: America's Historic Reverence for Independence

The Freedom of Others

Prison of the Closed Heart

Personal Freedom
      

 

Tears and Laughter are what makes Humans Human

 

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness,
but of power.
They speak more eloquently
than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of
overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart,
don't know how to laugh either
- Golda Meir

The dew of compassion is a tear.
- Lord Byron

Tears are the summer showers to the soul.
- Alfred Austin

Time engraves our faces with all the tears we have not shed.
- Natalie Clifford Barney

The bitterest tears shed over graves
are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Are you holding back long-suppressed emotions? Let your feelings flow, right now.

While some of us wear our emotions on our sleeve, others keep feelings bottled up for decades. Strike a balance. If you are suffering with unexpressed frustration or grief, let the tears flow. Then find a friend to laugh with. Laughter, however artificial it feels, lightens the saddest moments and bonds us to family and friends.

Tears and laughter cleanse the heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Coping With Loss, Grief, and the Fear Of Your Own Mortality

Promise of Rainbows

Missing Those We Love
    

Focus on what is Real

 

The monsters are in your own head.
- Paula Cole

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
Much is Not as it Appears to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Rattlesnake of the Mind" is a metaphor inspired by the Zen term, "Monkey Mind," which refers to the mind's tendency to invent an unending sequence of creative stories about everything we see and hear.

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

If you want peace, stop fighting.
If you want peace of mind,
stop fighting with your thoughts.
- Peter McWilliams

You are not your mind. You, a Spiritual BEing,
are neither your mind nor your body.
Mind and body are your tools - to use as you choose.
Sometimes your body appears to have a will of its own,
as when it twitches or pains.
Likewise, your mind often appears to have its own will.
That incessant chattering of regret, disappointment, guilt,
shame, foreboding, worry, and fear
is your Rattlesnake Mind striking off on its own.
Know that your mind can be a vicious rattlesnake, and be cautious.
The mind can be tamed, but only with conscious effort and patience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Further reading: Still Your Mind

Ten Little Tips to Feel Happier Right Now

Overflowing Cup of Tea - Zen Koan
      

Be at Peace with Yourself

 

Today's affirmation:
I am at peace with myself,
and with all that is.

Each one has to find his peace from within.
And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You may not seem able to change some outer circumstances
but you can start by changing your inner experience of life and yourself.
- Joy Page

We can never obtain peace in the outer world
until we make peace with ourselves.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Guide our feet into the way of peace.
- Luke 1:79

Further reading: Highest and Innermost God

Life Without Stress

Experience This Moment

The Enemy Within
     

Prioritize Understanding Others

 

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening
when you'd have preferred to talk.
- Doug Larson

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are
and then wait to hear the answer.
- Anonymous

Most of the successful people I've known are the ones
who do more listening than talking.
- Bernard Baruch

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand;
they listen with the intent to reply.
- Stephen R. Covey

Give whatever you are doing
and whoever you are with
the gift of your attention.
- Jim Rohn

Further reading: Pay Attention

Through the Eyes of Another

True Understanding

Be Aware
   

What is the Meaning of Time?

 

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha

You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton

We must use time creatively.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud

Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Don't fight against time.
Develop a comfort and friendship with time.
Time enjoyed is never time wasted.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today's affirmation: Time is my friend.

Further reading: Your Relationship with Time

Master of Patience

Make Time For Yourself

Everything Happens In Its Own Time

Your To-Do List
        

Do a Good Deed

 

Do your little bit of good where you are;
it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.
- Desmond Tutu

Merely to avoid harming others is not enough.
Earn your place in this world by doing good.
Be a pillar of goodness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No man or woman can be strong, gentle,
pure, and good, without the world being better for it,
and without someone being helped and comforted by
the very existence of that goodness.
- Phillips Brooks

How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
- William Shakespeare

Further reading: Pay It Forward

Integrity

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing - a Parable